Monday, September 5, 2011

need you like water in my lungs


I've said it many times, but I treat this thing like a journal, because I don't keep a real one. In a journal you write about your life- joys, triumphs, challenges, sorrows.

Sometimes the teenage girl in me takes over and all I want to do is whine and vent via social media, so I have chosen my least popular outlet to express how I feel, because it takes too long to write it down and I don't want to talk to anyone. Honestly, I hate cryptic bloggers. I hate cryptic blog entries that are obviously about a particular issue, but the blogger writes the go-to sad song lyrics (Ingrid Michaelson) and posts weird, Myspace-like images instead of saying what's really on their mind. Sorry, I just became that blogger.

I am sad. I feel small. Things happen fast and take you by surprise. I haven't had time to be sad or maybe I haven't let myself be sad. I feel foolish and silly. I've only felt angry for a few minutes, but I think my anger was a facade for my sadness. I'm overreacting. I'm being dramatic. I feel like an idiot. I want to talk to someone, but I don't. I want to cry, and I have, for a few minutes. It's not that bad. I don't know why I think it's that bad. It's not even bad. Someone tell me to stop. Someone tell me to get over myself. Ok, this is enough. I'm starting to annoy myself.

I AM SO SAD BUT I PROBABLY WON'T BE IN A WEEK OR MAYBE LONGER THAN THAT. I DON'T KNOW.
I went away this weekend to Brianhead, Utah. It was beautiful. I rode a horse and saw lots of nature and ate absurd amounts of food.

1 comment:

  1. i love you. a lot. i hate being away from you when you need someone. i just want to hug you.

    ReplyDelete